Holo-Rick
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Morty learns about the holocaust in school and Rick teaches Morty about the underlining workings of the illuminati.


Morty comes home from school and puts his bookbag down with a blank stare. Rick slouching and sitting belches;

"Wow Morty...you look more wormy and dulled than usual. Some thot reject you at school?"

"Rick...if you're such a genius why do you let bad things happen to good people?"

"What are you getting at Morty?"

"I mean in school today we learned about the holocaust and"

"Oh Christ Morty not the (belch) fucking holocaust! Do you really think ten million Jews just up and died Morty?!"

"Thirty Rick..."

[The writer encourages you to go check for yourself and see what ridiculous inflated number is the official.]

"Y...you know Rick you cant just say the holocaust didnt happen! That...thats even illegal in Germany!"

"Yea Morty...duh. Those faggots never stopped being Nazis they just realized kikes are better at."

"OH GEEZ RICK! You...You cant just throw around the word kike like that. I mean wow... you are anti-Semitic!"

Rick throws his flask at Mortys head.

"You shut the fuck up you dont even know what that means! Semitism is any Abrahamic religion and if I said Christians are a race you'd think I was crazy...If I said you should go to jail for denying a death or two of. muslim youd think I was crazy...The Jews get a free ride everytime Morty, and its because the elites were very succeasful in creating the perfect hologram!"

"A hologram Rick?"

"Thats what holocaust means Morty! There is no Jewish race... its just a bunch of rich dudes with a projector. Thats why they can makeup any number."

"R...Rick you just sound like Breitbart with more steps!"

"Hitler wasnt real either Morty...wheres his gravestone? He died of cyanide pill suicide right?"

"Uhhhh..."

"Wheres his family Morty? Wheres the Hitler family to sue the crap out of History channel?"

"Rick I dont pay THAT MUCH attention in class. I just think killing Jews is bad is all..."

"Well you're wrong Morty. Killing Jews isnt bad cause Jews arent real. Is Jesus real?"

"I dont think..."

"IS JESUS REAL MORTY?! Well if Jesus isnt real neither is Hitler!"

"Rick didnt you like...clone Hitler one time?"

"That sounds way too knowledgable of canon...you're a hologram aint you?!"

Rick pulls out a pistol and points it at Mortys head.

"Jesus Rick!"

"Tell me something only Morty would know...MY Morty..."

"Uhhh that...that there is only a number of genders equivalent to garlic bread?"

Rick cocks the gun...

"Maybe Im the hologram..."

Rick puts the gun in his mouth and shoots himself. Lights flicker and the hologram begins to crack and turn into binary.

"WHAT THE..."

A Jew meme opens the door.

"Oy'vey how did the hologram become self aware?! Its like another shoah!"

"Oh geez..."

"Young gentile! If the one you call Rick can surpass even our sophisticated holohoax holographics...whose to say what else he's capable of? Tell us where the real Rick Sanchez is!"

"I...I dont know I..."

The Jew grabs Morty by the collar of his shirt and his face turns into a monsterous lizard.

"TELL US..."

"oh oh geez..."

A hole is blasted through the lizards chest as the Rick has some kind of plasma rifle. More lizard people climb down from the attic and have Summer hostage.

"Tell us your ssssecrets Rick Sanchez!"

"Rick...what the hell?"

"Reptillians Morty. (belch) they always said reptillians were an allegory for Jews by David Icke but really Jews were an allegory for reptillians. They arent psychic vampires though. They're just MAJOR assholes..."

He starts blasting more of them and Summer falls on her knees.

Morty goes to help her up.

"Are you ok Summer?"

Rick blasts her.

"Rick! What are you..."

"Look again Morty..."

Its another hologram.

"Rick...how am I supposed to tell reality from a falsified perception?!"

"Do you have money or bitches?"

"No..."

"Than it doesnt matter if its real or fake does it? Thats the real Satanism Morty. (belch!) This edgy Illuminati shit is just spoiled rich kids who never grewup!"

More and more showup and Rick blasts through them all.

"Both world wars were a battle of big ideas. Communism, Fascism, Liberalism, but even those were jusf fronts for deep states, secret societies, and bourgeois interests. Been like that since the dawn of time Morty... If there (belch) if theres one thing you need to know its this.

There is no I in illumunati."

"...Yeah Rick. Theres kind of a few Is. also the Eye of Horus. Thats more eyes than like...a tarantula has!"

"Im speaking hyperbally fuck boy!!! There is no I in illuminati...the illuminati. Its a plural word Morty. All these Christian youtubers, Alex Jones, FBI insiders...they dont want you to know just how little control they have because EVERYBODY wants control Morty! We all want money, bitches, and land and dont wanna share... we're all fucking kikes Morty. But none moreso than internet moderators!"

"Wow...that last part there Rick. That...that came out of left field. Are you Rick Sanchez or Deadpool?"

Rick aims the plasma rifle at Morty and as Morty covers his face with his arms waiting to be incinerated he holds the rifle over his shoulder.

"I love you Morty..."

Morty has a tear roll down his eye patched side:

"Rick...I, I, you're my grandpa and..."

The Rick hologram with a rifle begins to fidget and turn into disorienting colors before it blips out of existence.

"OY'VEEEEEY! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME. SOMEONE CALL TECH SUPPORT!!!"


End file.
